July 10th, 1913
My dear dear Friend
I am grateful to you. He & I have always felt sure of your love & friendship & your book is a rebuke, and an inspiration to us.
I enclose you some notices, & I will send [page 2] more if you wish it.
I also send you a letter of mine. People were working in to obtain money for The Societies in W. they were interested. The little group of friends (good nice people) who on the 19th, as he left us on the 14th, buried themselves to get names to sign a letter on behalf of one of the Charities for which we care, seemed to [page 3] me most ill judged, & as others were following I felt it right to speak. I hope you will agree -- but it hurts to come forward.
I should like to come to America next year, both to see you, & Mr Woods & also to speak a little on housing & its ideals.
You will tell me if it wld be useful, & which time of the year wld be best.
I cannot come yet -- I might tell you I was broken hearted, but that is too common place a description of what I feel.
I have known for nearly 4 years that he wld not be long with me, & I kept it absolutely to myself, & away from him but it has made me treasure every word & act & know the inevitable-- What now I feel chiefly is torture of memory of his long illness & all he suffered, & almost a terror in case it remains foremost, & that the dear bright loving spirit shld be hidden by it. So I strive to re-ossify his spirit. I shd [page 4] like to write his life. Do you think I am equal to it? Wld American Settlements like me to do so? I think if I wrote his life myself it wld help me to bring him back as he was before the illness. He, the man, my lover, the humble Christ follower -- the keen seer into things behind the surface, & beyond the present time --
The newspapers are too full [page 5] of his doings. Too little of his beings, wh is what I shd try & write if I am worthy--
We have so interwoven in one work that I feel uncertain of what I can do without him, but for the last 3-4 years I have had to decide much without telling him (if things were not pleasant I mean) so I have been weaned -- but being so cheap a person comparatively to what he was that in any case the endpoint will be poor in quality.
Dear Lady, he & I put you very very high, so be kind to me sometimes, please.